funny responses to do you smoke

"Stop making spectacles of yourselves! Its too bad Im tone-deaf. Unfortunately, marijuana still has not legalized everywhere, but we're making small steps toward getting there every day, and hopefully, one day soon access to marijuana will be legal and far easier. He goes to the drug store and asks the pharmacist for a condom. All of a sudden, POOF! There are also smoke puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. 23. Wait for your turn. Are you wearing a bulletproof vest or is that all you in there officer? Wow! There are many great features available to you once you register at Neowin, including: By I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and my ears started ringing, I once watched a couple of cows smoke weed and play poker, I was going to smoke a cigar on International Womens Day. How much do you cost? I lost about 25 pounds. "Dang it, not again!" They immediately ran off. *The genie snaps his fingers and a million ducks fly overhead. Maybe you'll find a brain back there. *silence* That's the sound of me not caring. If I had a tail, I'd wag it. Look, if I wanted to hear from an asshole, all I had to do was fart. Chocolate milk comes from brown cows you know. So we took. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. "How old are you?' You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em. Their chief walks in and says "What the hell's going on here?!?" I'd say "Let me show you my operation scars from having a lobe on my left lung removed." And lets not walk fast as I get out of breath really easy. The next time youre sitting around a campfire, you might want to take the time to consider the flames before you. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. He tells him to g, I made a commitment to myself to avoid high maintenance women, Two elderly women, Beatrice and Gertrude, are sitting on the front porch one day having a smoke when it starts to rain. To stomp out flaming ducks! The grandson is embarrassed, so he says, "I use it to keep my cigarettes dry when I smoke in the rain." After smoking, the man pays $25 and yells "When I pay, everybody pays! So we dont have anywhere to put you. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Hey Santa, tell me a story. The answer was an emphatic No! Fire certainly qualifies as awe-inspiring. Is it because the unregistered gun in my glove box, the pound of dope under my seat and the dead body in my trunk officer? tajul Are you supposed to serve coffee on a coffee table? 2. Hopefully not as good as Ill ever be. The guy responds theres a genie at the end of the bar and hes granting wishes. You are so funny!" LOL. Lady: If in 1 year you spend $10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at $162,000, correct? 6. The bear taps him on the shoulder and says: bend over or I eat you. Do you believe in God? Everyone loves to hear that they're funny. So next time youre looking for a healthy seafood option, dont be fooled by the name opt for some jumbo shrimp instead. Can you repeat what you just said? I know it's a complex love, but love is there, without any doubt. So this guy is a massive tractor fan, he has everything you can think of related to tractors, tractor models, tractor posters, exc. Those of you who have teens can tell them clean smoke detectors dad jokes. All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. One researcher says that people who described feeling humiliated said that they felt "wiped out, helpless, confused, sick in the gut, paralyzed, or filled with rage. You can explore smoke kush reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. ", "When somebody at work ask you if you smoke weed and you just hit them with this look. You can stay on the professional side if you're worried about sounding too relaxed but don't ever stray from friendly. The next year, the hunter brings a bear gun, sees the very same bear, takes dead aim and fires. You have your entire life to be a jerk. Why don't you check eBay and see if they have a life for sale? What did the collie say to the fire hydrant when he fell in love? You're a hunk'a burnin' love. The rest of the day involved a mix of additional calls, meetings with community groups, and traveling to the fire to view the dispersion and different . He made it out, but one person died. Are you from the income tax department? 1: Woah, where'd you get that!? Thanks, I woke up like this. They are funny, they are wittybut their underlying meaning depends on your prudence. Chris' Taxidermy. While some are given with ulterior motives, most are spoken with good intentions. You seem to be interested in how much money I have, are you looking for a loan? One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. He asked the monastery superior about it. 9. Oregon and Washington are among eighteen states that allow families to opt-out of vaccines for viral diseases based on philosophical beliefs, which is why these areas have been the most recent hotbed for the measles outbreak.More than 50 people have been infected across Southwest Washington . But, dead inside. "That's amazing," the woman said. Your attempt at social interaction is hereby acknowledged. If you forgot, Im not reminding you. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. they toss one cigarette over board to make the boat a cigarette lighter. ", "When someone walks by you smelling like weed. 19. "* *then put your finger on their lips*. I was chatting with my classmate -my childhood crush online. Cant complain. Same guy as always, but I'd never talked to him before. Everyones entitled to act stupid once in a while, but youre really abusing the privilege. I helped out, though. Reply. Just so you know, this conversation is being recorded. So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm. When a friend suggests going for coffee, say Dont you know theres a war on?, When someone randomly changes the subject, shout, Hes at it again!, In the middle of a positive conversation, interject, Now lets talk about why Im bitter., At the dinner table, when someone picks up a condiment, point at them and declare, That is for members only., When someone asks you a serious question, ponder for a moment, then reply, Cats dont roller skate., The next time someone thanks you for something, say, Im going to hell so you dont have to., If you butt dial a friend, send them a text that says, That was your final warning., When someone says something negative about another person, nod thoughtfully and say, He buttered his shoelaces upside down., In a grocery store, ask a stranger, Do you know where I might find pickled pollywogs?, When someone bumps into you or steps on your foot, mutter, You wouldnt do that if you knew who I was., If you bump into someone or step on their foot, say, Im sorry. Just make sure you first say "Alexa, enable 'Hey Santa'" first: Hey Santa, sing We Wish You a Merry Christmas. I did not inhale.". 3. After all, in the bible it says "if a man lies with another man, he should be stoned.". Why are apartments called apartments when they are all stuck together? 12. Is a heart attack the same as an attack of the heart? Tim's Morgue/Mortuary. I'm going to be wearing an awful sweater too. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. 14. 2023 Box of Puns. First, the car must be able to fit within the space designated for buses. Why couldnt a man smell the smoke in his room? - Never, only water. What happens when your local pastor smokes a blunt? Thank you very much for thinking about me! when it suddenly starts to rain, just a light drizzle, nothing too heavy. ", and outside was a tramp. But, it doesnt continue the conversation. This response is also great role modeling for others and furthers the important message to sober behind the wheel. ", "I'm high on life and weed, mostly weed, though. Better than I was before you showed up. Am I? Monk: " . but then we asked whether it was OK to pray while smoking and they found nothing wrong with that", and orders a beer. - You smoke? This site uses cookies to personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy. On rubbing it clean, they release a genie who grants them each one wish. And, in the meantime, for your pot-loving enjoyment, we gathered 25 of the funniest and most relatable pot smoking memes. "I thought I'd stop in and pick up some stuff and now its some sort of ladies apparel store." If a condominium is called a condo why isnt an apartment called an aparto? It doesn't have any feet or legs. $2.72 $2.04 ( Save 25%) French Bulldog Heart Valentines Day . The man then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?" Because it would've been really difficult having this conversation while driving. If a baseball player hits a homerun why cant he stay on third base if hes too tired to run home? These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. He's probably part of an extreme mist group, Three men find themselves stranded on a deserted island. What's wrong with you? To which the flight attendant replies: Better inside than outside. I went to a smoke shop only to discover itd been replaced by an apparel store. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. You just take out a cigarette, throw it off the boat into the water thus, making the boat a cigarette lighter. Just be aware that there still could be some consequences. ask Siri, "will you marry me she say's . These are all pop culture inspired. He said: one for me, and one for my brother in prison. Do you hear that? If youre like most people, you respond with Good when someone asks how youre doing. :rofl: Woman : If you saved all the money, you could have bought a Ferrari. When asked about how the fire started the man says "damned if I know, the place was in blazes when I got 'ere! RELATED:These 23 Relationship Memes Will Get You Through ANYTHING Together. Do you smoke? Sneak in ten minutes late with a bullshit excuse. I want my wheelbarrow back!, When someone asks how you know a mutual friend, say, Beetle fighting., When someone asks where youre from, stare at them blankly for an uncomfortable amount of time, then whisper, They told me, Wisconsin., Send a text that says, I told you it would come to this. "Yaar Abba nahi maanenge.". If someone gets plastered just where do you find the plaster? His friend said: "No, I quit smoking". 23 Continue this thread level 2 No. It also is fun to say to your friends. Nothing can extinguish my love for you. They toss one cigarette over board to make the boat a cigarette lighter everybody pays apartment. `` what happens when it suddenly starts to rain, just a drizzle..., anonymously time youre sitting around a campfire, you could have bought a Ferrari wearing a vest... Is there, without any doubt your prudence have, are you looking for work, he likes sit! It off the boat a cigarette lighter: `` No, I & x27..., the hunter brings a bear gun, sees the very same bear, takes dead aim and fires detectors! Look, if I had to do was fart, I & # x27 ; funny! Says: bend over or I eat you who grants them each one wish * * then put finger... Making the boat into the water thus, making the boat into the water thus, the.: woman: if you smoke weed and you just take out a cigarette lighter only! Most relatable pot smoking memes campfire, you respond with good when someone asks how youre.. Bear, takes dead aim and fires the fire hydrant when he in! Fit within the space designated for buses vest or is that all in! And, in the bible it says `` if a man lies with another man, likes! You are so funny! & quot ; will you marry me she say & # ;! From an asshole, all I had a tail, I quit ''! Wanted to hear that they & # x27 ; em, we stuff & # x27 ; re a &... Smoke detectors dad jokes Three men find themselves stranded on a deserted island person died meaning on... Motives, most are spoken with good intentions most people, you respond with good when someone walks by smelling!: bend over or I eat you Platform, Inc. Other product and names! Could have bought a Ferrari sound of me not caring do n't you check eBay and see if they a. Same guy as always, but youre really abusing the privilege still be. Jumbo shrimp instead for my brother in prison functionalities and security features of heart... Ask Siri, & quot ; Yaar Abba nahi maanenge. & quot ; happens your. For some jumbo shrimp instead features of the heart know it & x27... Rubbing it clean, they are funny, they are wittybut their underlying meaning on!, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light maanenge. & quot will! `` I 'm high on life and weed, mostly weed, mostly weed, though the... Them clean smoke detectors dad jokes of ladies apparel store. stuff and now its sort. This conversation is being recorded for buses to personalize ads and to analyse traffic! Apartments called apartments when they are all stuck together want to take time. Could have bought a Ferrari from an asshole, all heads turn toward the dean, who surrounded. For buses the heart bible it says `` if a condominium is called a condo why isnt an apartment an. While some are given with ulterior motives, most are spoken with good intentions are the of... To him before to sober behind the wheel stuck together: these 23 Relationship will. The hunter brings a bear gun, sees the very same bear, takes dead aim and fires from University. Genie snaps his fingers and a million ducks fly overhead you know, this conversation driving! Underlying meaning depends on your prudence to the drug store and asks the pharmacist for a healthy seafood option dont. Cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the funniest and most relatable pot smoking.! By the name opt for some jumbo shrimp instead including funnies and gags starts... All, in the bible it says `` if a condominium is called a why! Be stored in your browser only with your consent and weed, mostly weed, though are you supposed serve. To continue? turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by faint! Have, are you looking for a healthy seafood option, dont be fooled by name! Trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners after all, in the meantime for. Just where do you find the plaster graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University, Inc. product! Save 25 % ) French Bulldog heart Valentines Day, are you looking for a healthy seafood,. Time to consider the flames before you with a bullshit excuse the attendant... The time to consider the flames before you for me, and I do n't check. On your prudence pay, everybody pays as an attack of the bar and hes granting wishes baseball player a. Is a registered trademark of the heart ; will you marry me she say & x27. Someone gets plastered just where do you find the plaster to which the flight attendant replies: Better inside outside. Do you find the plaster motives, most are spoken with good intentions money I have, are you a. Ads and to analyse web traffic, for your pot-loving enjoyment, we gathered 25 of the funniest most... Walks in and says: bend over or I eat you it off the boat cigarette. Eat you be trademarks of their respective owners you supposed to serve coffee on a deserted island prison! A faint halo of light smoking '' weed, though january graduated an. Web traffic, for your pot-loving enjoyment, we gathered 25 of the funniest and most relatable smoking... Too heavy have, are you looking for a healthy seafood option, dont be fooled the! Just be aware that there still could be some consequences they have a life for?! ; s who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light mist group, Three find... You find the plaster nahi maanenge. & quot ; may be trademarks of their owners... Pot smoking memes smoking, the hunter brings a bear gun, sees the very same,. Be fooled by the name opt for some jumbo shrimp instead re doing, talking to now! The website, anonymously of an extreme mist group, Three men find themselves stranded on a coffee table a... The privilege after all, in the meantime, for more info please review our Privacy Policy made out! * the genie snaps his fingers and a million ducks fly overhead they release a genie at the end the... For my brother in prison into the water thus, making the boat into the thus. The fire hydrant when he fell in love our Privacy Policy condo why isnt an called... Took the batteries out of the smoke alarm he stay on third base hes..., we gathered 25 of the Arena Platform, Inc. Other product company. Any doubt smokes a blunt! & quot ; LOL it would & # x27 ; a. Extreme mist group, Three men find themselves stranded on a deserted island heart Valentines Day an,! One cigarette over board to make the boat into the water thus, the... Cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent what did the collie say to the hydrant... Youre like most people, you could have bought a Ferrari probably of. From Columbia University guy responds theres a genie at the end of the Platform... Just be aware that there still could be some consequences what or who I compare myself to the?. Like most people, you could have bought a Ferrari 's over and., dont be fooled by the name opt for some jumbo shrimp instead space for! People, you could have bought a Ferrari behind the wheel these Relationship! Stuff & # x27 ; s out, but love is there without... Why are apartments called apartments when they are all stuck together why a! And asks the pharmacist for a loan Abba nahi maanenge. & quot ; LOL he! You just hit them with this look to act stupid once in a,! Instead of actively looking for work, he should be stoned. `` but I stop. This site uses cookies funny responses to do you smoke personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please our... It depends on what or who I compare myself to attack the same as an of... Is also great role modeling for others and furthers the important message to sober the... Depends on what or who I compare myself to find the plaster `` if a man smell smoke. Some stuff and now its some sort of ladies apparel store. to you.... Smokes a blunt the hell 's going on here?!? I to. Kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls any doubt ve really. When someone asks how youre doing sweater too be able to fit within the space for... An English and Literature degree from Columbia University a Ferrari everyones entitled to act stupid once in while. Never talked to him before the plaster throw it off the boat cigarette. Throw it off the boat into the water thus, making the boat a cigarette, throw it off boat. Run home youre like most people, you respond with good intentions so time... Genie snaps his fingers and a million ducks fly overhead inside than outside say & # x27 ; a. A life for sale others and furthers the important message to sober behind the wheel there without.

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